My poor husbands wallet took a battering today but I had so much fun! I got the latest Samsung phone, 4 new hats to keep the bald spot warm, I literally have no idea if they look any good as I could barely see in the mirror when I tried them on! lots of new underwear, make up, wash stuff.
It was a lot of fun but very strange too, I feel like a total retard at times, I get so confused at times, like total mind blocks where I can't make sense of anything at all, its really disconcerting. It's one reason I feel the urge to write this blog just so I can make sense of everything that has happened today, to get it straight in my head.
The retard thing, I feel like everyone is looking at me wondering what the hell is wrong with her but Filo tells me you can't tell I'm sick, other than maybe I'm walking a little slower, but I feel like I'm wearing a sign around my neck that says I've got a brain tumour, or at least I feel like I should explain why I'm like this, just so people don't think I'm weird.
But what does it matter if they do? Why do I care? Hmmmm.
I keep trying to remind myself that I am in control, especially while I am at home with my boys. Being stuck in hospital I felt helpless but at home, I choose when I eat, When I take the drugs, when I wash, when I see my friends.
Oh God everything is so confusing, I need to sleep now
I guess today has been a real challenge
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