Struggling

Today has been really tough. I am struggling with the hunger, I am just so hungry all the time that I could burst into tears and have done so many times today. Can you imagine being hungry but never quite being able to satisfy that craving? No you probably can't. Let me tell you it's unbearable, it's  intolerable but somehow I have to tolerate it.  I can't possibly be hungry with the amount I've eaten so why do I still feel ravenous?

There is no control, I am totally out of control and if there is one thing in life that I cannot stand it is being out of control. So not only do I have to cope with this damn brain tumour I have to somehow find the strength to cope with these horrid feelings of being in a spin with food

Could I not just be given a break? I mean ffs seriously, you want to break me down piece by piece? I feel broken and I don't even know where to begin fixing it. I literally don't know where to start. I'll try going out for a walk to clear my head. See if that helps... I do feel better, it's bloody cold outside I actually jogged to keep warm! that must have been a sight!

Tomorrow is another day, hopefully it will be a better one than today. I'm gutted I can't be more positive than this but I guess not every day is going to be a good one.