Facts and figures... Do you really want to know?

So when the Doctor asks if you want to know facts and figures what do you say? You can't 'unknow' something once you know it so are you sure you want to know? Do you really want to know what the average life expectancy is of someone with a grade 4 brain tumour like mine is?

15 months. Holy shit. I'm not a statistic my sister tells me. I could defy the odds, of course. digest that if you can because I can't quite stomach it.

I've got to find the fight in me but its gone and done a runner.

So much information to take in all at once. and everyone is just so nice and friendly but I just want to burst into uncontrollable tears because none of this is fair

It cannot be cured, just slowed if I'm lucky

Radio therapy starts at the beginning of February and Chemo follows that as expected. So the plan is in place and we will just get on with it, what other choice have I got? Will it work? Ask me in 15 months time?

I've Booked myself in to see a counsellor at the fountain centre as I'm not exactly coping with the trauma of all of this, How does anyone cope with this? if I had the answer to that question.

I feel such guilt to be putting my family through this, my husband, is quite literally the most amazing man in the world, I couldn't get through this without him and I am so lucky to have him by my side, he and Massimo are my entire world and there it is I've found my fight... Massimo and Filo, my boys, I must never lose sight, I will do this for them, I've got to get through this for them. God help me. please give me the strength to get through this.