First day off steroids

First day off steroids didn't go well and I'm gutted. I've been getting headaches which have progressively gotten worse over the course of the day, I've got no energy at all, I'm exhausted. The food cravings have definitely been better but I think I'd rather be hungry than unwell and exhausted.

I've been looking after Massimo all day, we walked up to the library this morning and everything was fine but I started to feel strange on the way home. I really didn't want to have to take a steroid so I've been putting it off all day but I've had to take one now as I feel so unwell. I can't think straight, I can't make my brain work. Already I'm hungry now I've taken it.

The Doctors did suggest taking the steroids on alternate days so tomorrow I will try again not taking anything as I have taken one now and see how I go but I really need to weigh up what is more important to me because I have been able to live a normal life whilst taking the steroids, yes the side effects suck but I can do everything I

always could. Now I'm kicking myself because I feel like I've failed but ffs I haven't failed, I tried it, it didn't work. It was too much too soon. I feel so confused.

I'm being too harsh on myself and I need to give myself a break, if taking a steroid makes me feel better than why would I not do that? Why should I suffer? Taking the steroids does not mean I am failing and it doesn't make me weak, it allows me to live a normal life.

I took another steroid in the morning as I felt so unwell like I was getting a fever and felt really nauseous. I had to look after Massimo and just don't see the point in feeling like that if taking a steroid can make me feel better. I need to stop beating myself up.

I've decided to stay on one steroid a day for the next few days at least and speak to the Doctors for some advice, I can try again another time to come off the steroids when I'm not looking after Massimo and I can just relax a little. Speaking of Massimo, he starts his first day with the childminder tomorrow and I'm full of emotion about it! I know he will love it and probably won't even miss me but I will miss him! He has grown up so much over the last few months its incredible.